Today is…important, I think. I sent the first 4000 words of my novel to my first readers. I’ve sent bits and pieces to folks over the last few months, but this is a solid, cohesive chunk of the book. I know, in my mind, that this is a “big deal,” but the feelings probably won’t set in until I hear back from…The Readers.
I suppose what I’m thinking is normal. That I wrote too much, was rambling and chaotic, pedantic and pontificating, and generally couldn’t organize one spoon in an empty drawer. The piece that gnaws at me most is that I’m not writing a purely academic piece or doing a literature review, but it would be easy to fall into that trap. It would be easy to drop into academic mode, but it wouldn’t be good. And, ultimately, I would be bored.
But putting forth an idea grown out of my own brain, with no formal research or literature propping it up is scary. I worry if it’s already out there somewhere, or if it’s just pure bullshit. The people I’ve shown it to so far love it and believe it’s important, and I do too. I feel pretty satisfied so far – I think I’ve done a far job for a first pass. But the sense of urgency is strong and now that I have a sense of the process, I’m impatient to keep moving.